How Long Should You Talk To Someone Before Dating?

You’ve met someone, and sparks are definitely flying.

The two of you have been talking on dates, texting, and calling, but you haven’t made the leap from casual dating to exclusivity just yet.

But you want it to happen – sooner rather than later.

At this point, you may be wondering how long the conversation phase will last before committing to each other.

Familiarizing yourself with the conversation phase and all that goes with it can help you feel more comfortable at each stage of your life as you date and meet someone new.

What is the speech stage?

This stage is the time spent getting to know someone without formally forming a romantic bond with them.

When you’re dating someone for the first time, there’s no way of knowing if you’ll be able to get along in a week or even a few months.

The conversational phase of any new relationship allows both parties involved to learn more about each other’s personalities, similarities, and differences before committing to one another.

There are a few things to keep in mind about the talking phase of a relationship.

It’s Useful to Protect Your Emotions: If you’ve ever jumped headfirst into a relationship only to later find yourself burned or hurt, a talking phase is extremely beneficial. Without fully committing to someone you just met, you can spend more time finding out if they really are the ones for you. You’re allowed to talk to others: During the conversation phase of dating, you can talk to numerous potential partners without feeling guilty. The Length of a Talking Stage Can Vary: The length of a talking stage in any relationship you enter into can vary depending on your personality and what you and your potential partner are looking for in a relationship.

Another thing to keep in mind – if you’re sleeping with this new person, you might want to find out if they’re sleeping with other people.

For some, physical intimacy at this early stage can confuse things and force you to overlook some red flags because the sex is great.

How Long Should You Talk To Someone Before Dating? 7 things to consider

Knowing how long this stage lasts depends on factors such as your personality, what you are looking for in a relationship, and the type of partner you are interested in.

Let’s look at a few considerations to help you know what to expect.

1. Your personalities

If you’re curious about the stage of your relationship, it helps to keep both of your personalities in mind.

For example, introverts will likely need more time to warm up to each other before they are ready to commit.

Those who are extroverts may find it easier to express themselves along with their own wants and needs in a new relationship.

Because everyone is unique, they will likely have different thoughts and preferences about when they feel comfortable committing to a relationship.

2. The distance between you

Distance is an important factor in any relationship. Long distance relationships are difficult enough even after you’re past the talking phase of your relationship.

When you’re separated from your partner, it can be difficult to keep up with communication while making sure the relationship stays fresh and exciting. If you are distant from your partner when you get to know them, you may need more time before you feel comfortable committing.

Without the opportunity to regularly spend time in person, you may feel that you need extra weeks or even months before you date exclusively.

3. Relationship desires and needs

Not everyone who dates is interested in long-term commitments or marriage. Whenever you start talking to a potential romantic partner, be open and honest about your wants and needs.

Being clear when you first meet each other can save you from heartache or leave you feeling let down later in the relationship.

By defining your wants and needs with potential partners, you also save time and avoid dating someone who can’t or won’t meet those needs.

4. Easy communication

How easy is it for you to communicate with the person you are talking to and considering a relationship with?

Do you find it easy to ask them questions or share personal stories with them every day? How often do you communicate with the person you are in a conversation with?

Does the level of communication you have with each other feel appropriate for your needs and the type of relationship you want?

Spend time assessing and evaluating the level of communication you have with potential partners to see if they are a good fit.

5. Take initiative

As you get to know someone, observe how they communicate with you and whether they initiate communication, suggestions and plans more than you do.

Depending on your preferences, this factor may mean more to you than others. If you are looking for a romantic partner who is confident and comfortable making and solidifying plans, you want your partner to be at least as proactive as you are.

However, if you prefer to be in charge of topics of conversation and plans, you may want someone who is less proactive. You will discover that at this early stage.

6. Evidence that relationships are progressing

If you’re not sure how long the conversation phase should be, look for signs that your partner is interested in taking the relationship to the next level.

If this new person is indicating that they want to see you more often or have developed intense feelings for you, it may be a sign that they want to take the connection more seriously.

As you notice these cues, determine if this is also the direction you want the relationship to go.

7. Appointments

While the talking phase of a relationship can be a “pre-dating” period where you are friends with your potential partner, there are no rules against dating during this phase.

Going on dates while you’re at this stage is a great way to spend quality time with someone new without becoming exclusively committed to them.

Spending time together gives you valuable insight into their personalities, their manners, and their sense of humor. You can better see if the friendship has ignited the spark of romance.

Frequently asked questions about the Speech Stage

Are you new to the conversation scene or want to make sure you’re moving smart on the dating scene?

Should you speak every day during the speaking phase?

It depends on the two people involved in the relationship. First, does speaking mean speaking in person, by phone, or by text message? One of you could text a few times a day, but only talk when you meet in person.

The other might want to talk on the phone every day – which is more of a time commitment but can help you get to know each other better.

If one party is much less responsive than the other, talking every day won’t work. At this early stage, you don’t want to pressure yourself or feel pressured.

You’ll know when it’s time to hit the brakes and step back when speaking to someone new. If a party feels bombed or smothered in getting to know someone, they are far more likely to back down.

How do you know if the interview phase is going well?

You will probably feel it in your stomach and in your heart. You should find it easy to talk to your new partner without feeling nervous or bored. You will easily come up with topics to talk about without awkward silences. And hopefully you’ll laugh a lot and get into a flow of conversation that feels natural.

When the conversation phase is going well, both partners enjoy talking to each other and find the communication between them satisfying.

What are the rules during the interview phase?

While there are no set or well-defined rules for the conversation phase of dating, there are a few points to keep in mind when meeting someone new, such as:

Jump in: Jump into the interview stage with little to no expectations. Jumping straight into engagement or marriage talks is a red flag for almost everyone. Let yourself be explored: Don’t limit yourself to just talking to a potential partner. Communicating with multiple potential dating partners can help you learn more about your own wants and needs. Don’t set a time limit: the interview phase can last a few weeks for a couple and almost a year for a long-distance couple. Don’t pigeonhole yourself or set yourself a time limit when you find a real and genuine connection.